Kamis, 18 Maret 2010

The Romantic Relationship of Steel

Starting a new relationship can be the best experience, but it can be the worst too. Beginning an important relationship can make the bravest person quake with fear. So how can you start-up a relationship and make it work? Not just any relationship either, but a good relationship, one with a strong foundation.

Tip 1: No lies. I know what it means to want someone to be impressed with you; but wouldn't it be best if he/she is impressed with you and not this fanciful lie that was concocted? No worries, if they are talking to you, there must be something they like. This brings me to my next tip

Tip 2: Be Yourself. I know this is repeated over and over again like a skipping cd, but it's still true. Be yourself and you will know exactly what to think and what not to say, because you are you, and pretending to be someone else tends to lend a muteness to the mouth.

Tip 3: Establish a strong connection. Figure out your similarities and differences and revel in both. Sometimes, depending on personalities, it's also best to open up a conversation on what kind of relationship each person is ready for. Make sure everything is open between the two, for once a lie -no matter how big or small- pops up, they never stop, but your relationship will, sooner or later.

Tip 4: Be Open, Always. This should be on par with no lying. This tip has helped my relationship with my fiance for the last five years and I never regret it. Yes, sometimes we hurt each other, but we also end up knowing the other's hearts so much better anyway. I am confident in my love for him and what's most important is that I'm Very confident in his love for me. The goal has always been to have a good strong relationship that will last, because of a growing and nurturing love.

Tip 5: Likes and Dislikes. This is not just figuring out what movies or food they like, it's also figuring out what makes them smile. Their likes is what can put that lingering smile and light in their eyes, even if they're doing some hated chore. The smile is just beneath the surface, just look at them a certain way and they'll laugh for you. The dislikes could also be a certain aspect of the world they disagree with and he/she is part of a cause to stop that aspect/happening. Dislikes could also be pet peeves. So, likes and dislikes can show up in any form, big or small, but no matter the size, the importance is clear. Are you rooting for this person or against them?

Tip 6: Make it a Priority! Make this relationship the top priority. I'm totally serious in this. Making this significant other the priority in your time and your life will become the difference between a good relationship and a dwindling relationship. Making him/her The Priority will prove the tendre you feel and can assuage any misgivings. This can also strengthen the relationship, considering that by prioritizing you spend more time with them. If you are unwilling to make them a priority, then they must not be important enough to you; and you may be unwilling to commit to a relationship as of yet.

Tip 7: Have Fun Together. After all of the recent tips, you must not forget to have fun! The responsibility of life always tries to take over, so resist this attempt at domination and go out with your significant other. Or stay in, whatever floats your boat as a couple.

Tip 8: More Than Sex. Make sure your relationship has depth, and romance. Now, romance isn't always flowers and chocolates though it's nice to get (for some of us females who like that kind of stuff). Romance is also showing affection in the way your partner likes it. My fiance, for example, loves it when I show that I'm thinking of him, or when I do something for him that will lighten his load. Presents are all well and good, but sometimes a personal touch is needed most. A random note: Don't base everything on the great sex or the lack thereof. Also, though it's most likely great to tumble into bed after a fierce argument, don't forget to resolve issues. Unresolved issues tend to give you a great snow-ball effect, and it's not fun to deal with when the snowball rolls over you.

Tip 9: Understand and Compromise. Something I've learned in my relationship with my fiance is that I may not always agree, but I can always compromise. Also, I can always strive to understand. Both understanding and compromising can help strengthen a relationship.

Tip 10: Live Life Together. It's really easy to want to forget a terrible day behind and bask in the happiness of your relationship. Though this is ok, it's not the best answer. Try to share all of your experiences with your significant other and who knows, maybe they can give some advice, and if not, their understanding of what you go through will be strengthened.

Tip 11: Relationship Building is Never Easy. Building a healthy and strong relationship takes work, but it is always worth it in the end. Every day proves to be a new day, and another day to live your life with that person and working through issues as they come up.

Final Tip: Don't Be Afraid To Argue. If an argument ruins a relationship, the relationship didn't have a good foundation. An argument should never ruin a relationship. My fiance and I have had many terrible arguments, but an argument never changes the fact that we love each other. At one point, the nastiest argument we've ever had, we both commented that we shouldn't be together but then we agreed that being apart would not be possible. There was nothing else to do other than strengthen the relationship.

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